Armaran chapter 4

During the following days Amina kept thinking about what it meant to be Kahtal. In the stories the Kahtal were described mostly as heroes, or at least as people with great power. They won wars or changed their course, they saved people and villages from death and destruction, but were equally able to annihilate everything if they wanted to. It was also the responsibility of the Kahtal to take care of the Treshti as fighting them was difficult – if not impossible – for anyone else. All of the Kahtal had been hunted down and slaughtered centuries ago because many feared and hated them. She would not be able to tell anyone what she was because she would place herself – as well as them – in great danger. Even though the Kahtal had been wiped out a long time ago, there were still many who hated them.

Amina wandered often near the graveyard, but wouldn't enter it. She was now more afraid of the spirits, too. They might want to kill her, or another Hendo might take place. She was only nine years old and didn't know how to fight. She had no memories of her first Hendo that took place when her family died. However, she was certain that they hadn't died due to the Hendo even though there were often collateral casualties.

Amina soon forgot about her worries as Kros told her that she had been invited to her old home. Her cousins wanted to sell the house and were hoping she would come and sort out the personal property in case there was anything she wanted to keep. The journey there would be long and she'd be gone for several weeks. Kros promised to ask someone from the village to take her there or at least part of the way if her cousins would come and meet her at some point. Getting the answer would take more time but Amina was willing to wait.

During the next couple of weeks, Amina was thinking about her fate and what she could do about it. Would it be too dangerous to live with anyone even though she wasn't old enough to live on her own yet? Could people be able to tell that she had changed? How great a risk would it be to travel such a long way away as she might come across new spirits? Longing for home eventually took her over and she decided to travel despite the risks. Finally the answer from her cousins arrived and they promised to come meet her in a bigger village along the way.

As Kros had arranged everything concerning her journey, Amina had no idea who she'd be traveling with for the first days as she got up on the morning of her departure. A wide smile spread on her face as it turned out to be Jared. Amina hadn't seen him much after the funeral as he traveled from town to town, as his master was in charge of several smithies throughout Armaran. Now he was headed to one at the farthest south-western corner of Armaran but his travel plan didn't change much by escorting Amina. During their traveling days Amina told many stories and they also talked about the things around them. Spring had arrived to most of Armaran and mild, warm days were common.

When they arrived at the village where Amina's cousins were supposed to pick her up, Jared made sure she got to continue her journey safely. The cousins were some of the less familiar ones to Amina, but they were excited to see a healthy and lively girl in spite of everything, instead of a quiet and depressed one. Three cousins – one adult woman and two men who were siblings – told Amina about a fourth cousin whom they shared who had been looking after the house since they had received the sad news. They were also very relieved that Amina knew most of the stories of her parents since none of them had been prepared to continue the Fatil legacy on her mother's side. It took another couple of days to get to her old home as they were traveling on foot and the roads were used by very few and were in parts in very bad shape.

The family house was big and several generations had often inhabited it at the same time. Amina could recall her mother's mother very poorly and her mother's father had died years before her birth. Generally considered a crazy old bat, her grandmother had been telling her own stories that were in no way connected to her late husband's Fatil legacy. The stories were of questionable origin and even most of the closest kin didn't bother listening to the old woman's nonsense, save one cousin – the one tending to the house at the present. The most important reason to ignore the old woman was likely her habit to tell tales about her own family even though the Fatil traditionally shared stories that were significant to all Armaranians and the Kahtal. Besides, telling something about your own family couldn't be considered objective, or easy to give words that would remain unchanged through aeons. As many families of Fatil were annihilated during the Kahtal genocide or very few members of them survived, their offspring sought secluded areas to live in in order to protect themselves. One of the greatest families was rumoured to have been completely destroyed or if there were any survivors, they were living in exile outside Armaran. Many of the Fatil families that had been under the protection of the grand chargé d'affaires fled Hadem, the biggest city of Armaran, because an order came from outside the autonomic Armaran that each chargé d'affaires should keep track of all potential Kahtal supporters in their respective jurisdiction. Any phrases that were exalting the Kahtal – whether they were part of a story told for centuries or millenia, or part of real support – were strictly forbidden. The grand chargé d'affaires had thought it best to send the families away from his city and cut all ties with them even though he had always been a big admirer of their heritage. His successors – whether they were newly elected or inherited the position – had not dared to contact the families in fear of more orders from afar.

Amina was staring at the house. It was the same old three-story building that had been supported and fixed numerous times in places where the humidity had rotted the wood. It had been built at least 200 years ago, and Amina's kin had inhabited it for about 130 years. She felt like an alien standing on the yard she had played on so many times before. The house felt bleak and lifeless. Amina wanted to go away.

One of her cousins gently pushed her forward from her back. ”We still have many hours of daylight left today, but we want to leave before dusk because we want to get to our house before it gets dark.”

Amina shuddered. ”I'll try to be quick.” She walked to the house and ascended the stone steps with heavy feet.

The door wasn't locked and the fourth cousin tending the house was sitting by a table in the main room. He turned his face to Amina and backed away from the table hunching.

Amina didn't know what to say. The man was acting strangely – far more so than the other cousins but they all had the same goal – to get out of the house as soon as possible.

The three cousins followed Amina inside the house. ”We've gathered some dishes and other pretty worthless things in the kicthen. We're planning to keep them for ourselves since they are pretty worn and I don't think anyone would pay anything for them.”

Amina nodded. On the lowest floor were the main room, the kitchen and some storage space for food, candles and somesuch everyday items. On the second floor were four bedrooms, of which one had been made into a storage for old clothes, books, furniture and other things that hadn't been sold or thrown away. The top floor was the attic which was as much storage space as a temporary guestroom and had also been the study of Amina's great great uncle, who held the title of the most educated member of the family as far as anyone could remember.

Amina took the stairs to the second floor and stood still in the hall for a moment. She could almost hear her own footsteps after her brother or how their mother called them downstairs for dinner. Tears dwelled in her eyes and she wiped them off with her sleeve. She opened the door to her parents' bedroom to let the sunlight into the hall. Amina stared into the room for a moment. There was nothing but the bed, a chair in bad shape, and a small dresser in it. The dresser looked practical and Amina wondered if she could take it with her. It would fit well next to Kros and Emma's bed. Amina opened the top drawer. It was full of old letters. She could save them for later and read them in her own time. She went back down to the main room to get a sack and packed the letters in it. In the lower drawer there was a wilted and dried bouquet that had been tied together with a silk ribbon. The colour of the ribbon was as faded as the flowers'. The bouquet must have been important to someone but to Amina it meant nothing so she untied the ribbon and threw the flowers out of the window. They would only have crumbled in the sack anyway.

Amina went to her older brother's room next. She collected all of the toys and a couple of books. She had no use for the furniture and she mentioned to one of her cousins that they could freely sell everything left in that room.

The cousin said it was enough for the day. Sun was starting to slide behind the highest tree tops.

The strange cousin remained at the house as the others left for their home with Amina. Amina made a wistful glance over her shoulder at the house once so dear to her. She hadn't wanted to go to the room she had shared with her younger brother on that day, but the next day was full of work as they were going to go through the storage bedroom. The attic was saved for the third day. Maybe in a couple of days she could be back on her way to a more normal life. Amina was surprised as she realized she hadn't had time to think about being Kahtal at all that day.

***

In the next morning, going through the last bedroom went smoother than expected. Amina only picked up her favourite toys and her most beloved possessions and let the cousins pack all the rest into sacks to be sold. However, the storage bedroom turned out to be more complicated to clear out than anticipated. Many things had been piled or tossed carelessly on top of one another and the cousins had to be very careful while clearing the piles slowly. Some pieces of the furniture were beyond repair and the odd cousin chopped them down in the yard to be used as firewood. Most of the things in the room had not been packed in any way and Amina organized them into four piles – one for the things she wanted to keep, one for the ones to be sold, one for broken and useless, and one for the things she didn't recognise.

After a light sandwich meal, the cousins moved the intact pieces of furniture downstairs in order to give Amina more space to work out all the things still left in the room. As the cousins picked up a seemingly intact sideboard, its door fell off and all of its contents fell on the floor. Amina let out a surprised sigh. Among the things were soft leathers that had symbols and pictures inscribed on them. She could remember them from her childhood. They had been passed down generation after generation in the Fatil family – perhaps for centuries. The pictures and symbols were the mnemonic for the most important stories of each Fatil family, and she herself had learned many a story as early as in her infancy through them. She didn't know exactly what to do with them because she had memorized all the stories these leathers told. She decided to keep them anyway. They meant nothing to her cousins as they were not going to pass on the Fatil legacy. Amina did wonder, however, if there would be a good place for the leathers at Kros and Emma's. They didn't take up much space but the leathers needed a dark and dry place for storage to keep the leather safe from lumination and humidity. Amina had so far chosen several small pieces of furniture and quite a few things – mostly her mother's old dresses and a pair of her father's leather boots – to take with her.

The sun was sliding behind the trees before Amina could finish the entire room, and the cousins busied her to leave. Again Amina turned in the yard to face her old home. It felt more unfamiliar each minute, even though it still contained so many things known and dear to her. They were just movables and, like her, moving out.

***

On the third day Amina went trough all the things she had decided to keep so far and take with her and asked her cousins how she could get everything to Groshna. They estimated that she'd still be fine with a small cart but she would of course need an adult to rein the horse. Some villages offered rental carts but a driver was harder to come by. Amina thought about Memma and the driver and everyone that was traveling with them. She decided to be more picky on the things she wanted to keep.

They were finished with the storage room early in the afternoon and relaxed a little longer over lunch than on the previous day. The cousins told about all kinds of events and incidents they had encountered in their lives and laughed together. Even the oddest cousin smiled a couple of times and sat with them at the table for a while before he returned to his corner, hunching over an old book.

The attic was not as crammed as the storage room had been on the lower floor but it was bigger and therefor contained more things, most of which were quite well organized, and two corners were clean – one was the guestroom, the other had served as an office space with a desk. Amina started from the guestroom corner. The bed was rather small, but in good shape. A small table and the chair beside it had been decorated with beautiful embroideries. Amina couldn't think of a place or use for them at Kros and Emma's, so she offered them to her cousins. The cousins thanked her and promised to think about it and it wouldn't bother them to hold on to some of Amina's things if she couldn't take them all at once.

Amina was very grateful for the help of her cousins. They obviously cared for her well-being and were often asking her if she needed a break. She woudn't have been able to move most of the things by herself.

The odd cousin was crouching near the desk a lot. He didn't go next to it or touch any of the books or scrolls on the shelves.

Eventually unsure Amina approached him. ”Should we go through this corner before we look at the other stuff?” she asked timidly.

The cousin started even though he had seen Amina's approach. ”I... I would like to reaserch some of the books.”

Amina nodded. ”I'm sure you can keep many of them. I don't think I can take them with me.”

The cousin was surprised. ”But... they're yours.”

Amina purched her lips. She didn't know how to talk to this man. ”If I can't take all my things with me, I can leave them here. You can read them until I can come get the rest.”

The cousin let out a shy smile. ”Thank you.”

It was cumbersome to move the furniture out of the attic. The doorway to the attic was narrow and they had to lift and turn many of the furniture to get them out. The sun had already vanished behind the trees when they stopped and the cousins hurried their return home.

Amina had barely time to glance over her shoulder as they were half running forward. Her mind was empty. She didn't miss the house, nor did she want to get away from it. All of her concentration was needed to keep up with her cousins.

The night was getting dark fast as clouds were gathering in the sky. The wind was rising and made the leaves on trees rustle and branches sigh.

One of the cousins grabbed Amina's hand so that she wouldn't get left behind as the other two were trying to light a lantern without stopping even for a moment.

There was a flicker of light in the distance in front of them and they stopped. The cousins were obviously scared. Amina squeezed her cousin's hand a little bit tighter.

They saw the flicker again but there was no one next to it who could've been holding a lantern.

Amina swallowed. The hair on the back of her neck were up.

They saw the flicker yet again but it was evidently closer.

”Can you make a spark for the lantern?” the cousin holding the lantern asked from the one holding the tinderbox.

The other cousin was trying to get a spark out of the tinderbox with his shaking hands.

It was almost entirely dark already. The wind stopped. The air felt warmer right away.

Amina gasped. ”It's Gahim!” she whispered lowdly.

The cousins looked at her and back in the direction of the flickering light. They knelt on the road immidiately and said: ”Gahim arimma hajahka.”

The flickering came into plain sight again. It was only about five meters away from them. It was a small flame.

Amina took care to stand up and looked at the little flame hanging in mid-air. ”Good evening, Keok. We are on our way home. We do not wish to disturb you.” She could almost see a transparent, human-like form around the flame.

The cousins also stood up muttering more praises for the spirits.

”You try to make fire. I am fire,” Keok said in a quite but strong voice.

The cousins held out the lantern and the tinderbox with shaking hands. ”We are tyring to get light for our dark path.”

”I guess my tinderbox has gotten wet somewhere along the way because I don't get a spark like I usually do.”

Keok was silent. It's glowing eyes were visible in the darkness about half a meter above the flame.

Amina was wondering whether she should offer to tell a story. The cousin was still holding her hand. ”Thank you for keeping the air warm for us,” she said.

Keok seemed surprised. ”Really?” It looked around for a moment. ”Yes. The wind doesn't touch me.”

Amina tugged on the cousin's sleeve and she bowed down to her. ”Can we run to the woods if it gets mad?” she whispered.

The cousin shook her head. ”It would catch us. But... If it doesn't follow us, we might be able to go around it in the woods,” she replied and nudged her brothers. She nodded her head towards the trees int he dim light of the Keok's flame and they nodded.

They moved slowly towards the woods keeping a constant eye on the spirit.

Keok's gaze followed them but the spirit itself remained still.

They continued their way among the trees slowly and turned their sides to the front in order to keep an eye on the spirit as they moved forward.

Keok was still but its eyes were glowing as fiery dots.

They continued in the woods well past the spirit and returned to the road over ten meters apart from it. They could still see the small flame in the darkness. The road wasn't even or easy to walk even in daylight but they were too scared to try and light the lantern. They were constantly looking over their shoulders but didn't see the flame again. As soon as they reached their house, one of the cousins grabbed another tinderbox and lit a candle. The other one put some wood in the hearth and lighted a fire. They all kept away from the flames. They didn't speak as they ate a light snack. No one bid goodnight as they went to their bedrooms in the fading glow of the embers.

***

As she woke up, Amina was still tense all over and her muscles were aching after stumbling on the dark road. The cousins had already gotten up and having a casual conversation in the main room.

Amina got up and greeted them as she entered the main room.

The cousins greeted her happily and were already laughing off the events of the previous night. In those parts of Armaran the spirits would occasionally attack people, but it was very rare and mostly occured in towns rather than on singular people or houses.

Amina relaxed a little and in turn told about her encounters with the spirits in the graveyard. They still seemed like harmless events but after the previous night she knew she had been lucky.

The cousins listened to her intently and complimented her on her great idea to get the spirit to teach her the dance steps. They knew few dances themselves, and even them not well, and they seldom attended town fairs where people might have been interested in a social evening.

After the breakfast they returned to Amina's house where the odd cousin was getting restless waiting for them. They shared with him the event of the previous night and he seemed extremely shocked.

Moving the furniture from the attic to the lower floors was as heavy labour as before but they managed to get most of them downstairs by afternoon. As it was physically labourous, the cousins decided it was enough for the day. They were also anxious to get home early in fear of reprise of the previous evening. They were going to get a cart for the next day and pack some of Amina's things in it.

As they had many hours of the day left, Amina told her stories. She wasn't sure which stories had been her mother's or father's Fatil legacy and asked her cousins about it. She told more of her father's stories as the cousins were less familiar with them.

Amina woke up in the middle of the night after she had a nightmare where blazing fiery eyes were following her in a dim and scary place.

***

Amina woke up groggy. She hadn't had much sleep after the nightmare. Her cousins seemed more silent than on previous mornings. One of them left to borrow the cart from a neighbour.

After less than an hour they were awoken by the cousin's exclamation in the yard. The other cousin opened the door and backed away from the doorway immidiately.

Right behind the door were two fiery eyes and a small flame underneath them.

Amina inhaled in a shock.Why had the Keok followed them? How did it find them? Why did it only come now and not on the very same night they had encountered it? Or did it have to look for them? She was shaking.

Keok stood calmly in front of the open door.

The female cousin managed to whisper ”Gahim arimma hajahka.”

It calmed Amina down. She stepped forward and made a boisterous bow. It wasn't as theatrical as the one she had learned at the graveyard.

Keok stared at ther for several minutes. It made a simple bow.

Amina's mouth was dry and she was afraid she wouldn't be able to make a sound. ”I don't want you to come here. Please, leave!” she cried.

Keok stared at ther. Then it looked at each cousin in turn and even stared at the horse for a moment. It turned back to Amina. ”You are a strange creature, child.”

Amina shivered. ”I am Fatil.”

The words didn't impress the spirit. It stared at her for another few minutes without saying a word. ”I am tired of stories. They only repeat the same pattern over and over again and tell about boring wars.”

”Then you have no business here,” said the male cousin in the house. ”We are all kin and appriciate our Fatil heritage. It is also all we have to offer.” He was evidently scared but used a tough tone of voice.

Keok stared at him for a moment and turned back to Amina.

”If you're not offering us light or warmth, we wish nothing of you,” said the female cousin. Her voice was more stable than her brother's but her hands were shaking. ”We can make them ourselves even if our tinderboxes aren't always in mint condition.”

Keok gave the woman a uninterested look and continued to stare at Amina.

The cousin outside had heard their words and came closer. The horse was still calm and he tied it to a tree just to be sure. ”We're not going to bother you on your travels and we hope you respect us the same way. We want neither fight nor company from you.”

Keok glanced behind its back and thought for a monet. It turned back to Amina. ”Trice have they denied me from here, child. What do you want?” Its eyes were flaring.

Amina took a deep breath. ”I want you to stop bothering us. We don't want to hurt you and I won't make you listen to my stories. We are going to travel to my home for a couple of more days. I wish you don't bother us on the road or in our destination.”

Keok nodded. ”My curiosity shall remain unfullfilled. You are a strange creature, child.” It walked away and passed the cousin and the cart. The horse snorted restlessly but calmed down after the spirit had passed it.

Amina looked at the spot where Keok had stood. It was charred black. There were also sooted blotches on the doorframes. She took a few deep breaths and began to cry.

Cousins hugged her and talked in a calming voice. After that they returned to Amina's home.

They moved the last pieces of furniture on the lowest floor which was full of junk. The odd cousin was happy to help Amina clear out the workspace and they packed all of the books and scrolls with care. Amina was thinking she wouldn't need the desk but the cousin asked her to keep it. It didn't bother the other cousins even though the excess things would remain at their house for the time being as the odd cousin had no house of his own, just a shag at the edge of one village. They packed the cart with things Amina was going to take with her first and carried several sacks on their backs. The odd cousin came with them as there were no more valuables left in the house and therefor no need for anyone watching over it.

Amina looked at the house for the last time. It was empty. It was deserted. It wasn't a home anymore. She turned her back at it and moved on with her life. Tears welled up in her eyes several times on the way. She felt more of an outsider than ever before. She wished she could already be back at Groshna. She wished she wasn't Kahtal. She was wondering if the Keok had followed them because it had sensed her Gahim. Luckily it hadn't attacked. Luckily it went away.

They avoided looking at or touching the charred spot as they entered the house. They spent the evening planning Amina's journey back.

Amina went to bed happy, but her night was filled with restless dreams where spirits wandered around her old home and were wailing in excruciating voices.